Mom column: Stay-at-home vs. working
Here is a reader's response to a column that ran in the Family section on Thursday. The comments have been edited.
My wife and I have the following comments regarding your article, The Telltale Signs of Motherhood. We found it humorous how little you actually know about the subject.
Perhaps you should have named your article The Telltale Signs of a Working "Parent." "Motherhood" is a term reserved for dedicated moms who stay at home with their children. They put their children first no matter what the cost, including financial and societal pressures. Playing with a radio every now and then doesn't make you a top-notch, licensed electrician. Dedicating your life to the trade and doing it full-time usually does.
When and if your child ever says, "Thanks for working 20/40/60 hours a week while you raised me Mom. I really appreciate it." Ask yourself if you really believe it.
I am a former day-care kid who married a woman who is a "dedicated Mom." And what an eye-opener it has been!
H. Johnson
Richardson, TX
Comments
Wow--it's obvious this family doesn't have to struggle to put food on the table. Also, before this gentleman hijacks the definition of "motherhood," here's the definition found in the dictionary: 1. the state of being a mother; maternity.
2. the qualities or spirit of a mother.
3. mothers collectively.
There are no qualifiers on working vs. stay-at-home.
P. Smith
Arlington, Texas
Posted by: Patricia | August 28, 2006 02:21 PM
It's amazing that people still think this way. What makes me any less of a mother because I work...are you less of a father because you work? It takes two parents to make them and two to raise them. Why is it so often implied that the woman should be the one to stay home, and if she doesn't she's somehow failing her child. No one puts that same blame on the men in our society.
Posted by: Denice | August 28, 2006 04:20 PM
To Patricia and Denice,
Citing a dictionary definition is the oldest trick and weakest form of debate. It signals a white flag for critical thought. There are boundless qualifies re: working v. stay at home mothers. The latter clearly being the most noble.
Putting food on the table is also a weak argument. We continue to make daily sacrifices for our children - of which you will never know. In any case, I strongly doubt you have given up your PC, digital cable, cell phone, Starbucks, fast food, and more to assist in being a stay at home mother.
There will always be circumstances where mothers must work: poor choice in marriage, medical tragedy, etc. However, there are so many untapped avenues besides daycare. Unless all these alternative avenues are exhausted on behalf of staying at home as much as possible with your children, then yes, your are less of a mother than a stay at home mother.
As far as placing the same blame on men, see God. God created women to carry the child and nuture it with her bosom, not men. It's the same reason, women are not expected to fend off the intruder who breaks in during the middle of night. It's mother nature. If you know better than mother nature, more power to you.
Posted by: H. Johnson | August 28, 2006 08:24 PM