Blended birthday parties
This question comes from a reader:
"Each year we have birthday parties for my husband's grandchildren that is for our side of the family. Then my step-son and his wife will have one and then invite both sides of the family. Is it wrong to want to not attend that party when we have already had one for our side? Neither my husband or I feel comfortable being around his ex's family."
Do you have any advice for our reader? Have you faced a similar experience? Post a comment and let us know what you think.
Comments
I think it's lovely that you host your own special party for your husband's grandchildren. That's such a great way to show you care. I don't think it would be necessary to attend two birthday parties for one child even if there were no exes involved. The fact that you and your family feel uncomfortable around his ex's family is a slam dunk for letting this go by. My parents have always hosted family parties for the grandkids. They never felt it was necessary to attend the parties the grandkids may have had at their homes, even when there were no exes involved. Your grandkids should consider your party your special gift to them.
Posted by: Nancy Churnin | September 15, 2006 10:31 AM
Remember the point of the party: To create a happy celebration for your grandson. Do what you can to make that happen, whether it's staying cool through the party with the ex's family or graciously backing out of the second party by extending your regrets that you have another engagement.
Posted by: Jennifer Okamoto | September 15, 2006 11:37 AM
Your refusal to be at the other party will be noticed. By showing you are uncomfortable with the ex's family will obviously show your disapproval of them. This will once again place the kids and grandkids in the middle of your argument. However, I agree with above. If you can't be cordial in person, better to be gracious in your absence.
Posted by: Tiffany Rickbeil | September 17, 2006 03:42 PM